The Non-Dad Stuff

Well, this series of posts took a strange turn. The intention was to simply explain how Sarah and I met. Then, I planned to jump to present day and the title of these posts would make sense. I guess the "I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo" still works with what I’ve written, but that wasn’t the plan.

If you need to be refreshed on my take of how Sarah and I met, read part one again, or read below for the condensed version.

I met Sarah because she was manager of the apartment complex (I paid my rent to her). She worked at a different property and had recently transferred to the one I was living at. I went to the office one day to drop off the rent check, and that’s when I saw Sarah. I remember thinking, "DAY-UMMMMMM," but didn’t say anything aloud, aside from telling her that I didn’t need a receipt.

One day, I decided to go talk to her. I did what most men do, I started everything on a lie. I lived in a two-bedroom apartment and told Sarah that I was thinking about downgrading to a single bedroom. You know, because I was single and didn’t need the extra space. The lie was telling her that I needed or wanted a one bedroom. I was, in fact, quite happy with the space I had. I didn’t lie about my status though. I told the married woman that I just couldn’t do the back-and-forth thing with her anymore and that she needed to either make things right with her husband, or find other arrangements. This innocent lie led to a bit of small talk. I asked Sarah about her weekend and she said something about having gone skydiving because it was her birthday, so I then shared my skydiving story as well.

When I figured it was a good time to take my exit (and leave her wanting more), I said "Well, it’s too bad I missed your birthday. I’ll have to take you out and buy you a drink sometime."

Recently, Sarah, Tyler and myself were all sitting in the kitchen. I mentioned something to Sarah about the fact that I never really had any "game" with the ladies.

"What do you mean?"

I explained, "Well, I went to school with Mary, I worked with Teidda, I worked with Shannon, and you were my landlord. I never really went out and ‘picked up chicks.’"

Sarah said, "I never knew you worked with Teidda."

"Yup."

This is when Sarah decided to take my pride, my ego, or whatever it is inside a person to make them feel like a man and crush it into a million tiny pieces.

"Oh. I thought you were a weirdo when you came in."

My response came out as a violent expulsion of air. "WHAT?!"

Sarah went on to mock my "oh. I missed your birthday? I’ll have to take you out…" line, with exaggerated facial expressions and arm movements. I’m surprised she didn’t go fully over the top and form her thumb and forefinger on each hand into a gun and say "pow, pow" as she mockingly shot the air between us.