Naming a baby is no simple task. The amount of "common" names number in the thousands. Add to that the stranger names that celebrities seem content with assigning to their babies – Apple, Jermajesty, Ocean, and Rocket are just a small handful of these non-mainstream monikers (yes, they are real names) – and the options spike even higher. As parents, this is a responsibility that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Sadly, I would have liked to say that it can’t be taken lightly, but based on some of the names that parents have chosen, that responsibility can indeed be taken lightly. Take, for example, the couple that wanted to auction the name of their baby on eBay to the highest bidder. The point is, for 99.9% of us, baby naming is a big deal.

One of the first questions that must be answered is whether you want to pass on a name from your family or your spouse’s family, or if you want to pick something new. Sarah wanted our son’s middle name to be "James", named after her father and grandfather. Her dad had all girls, so without a boy to carry on the family name, she thought this the next best thing. My argument against James was that it was already the middle name of one of my brothers and two of my nephews. Did we really need another James-as-a-middle-name in the family? Apparently so, because I decided that my reasons against it weren’t as great as her reasons for it.

No good parent would ever choose a name without first considering the minds of other children. Lest I wish my son’s name be appended with "the fairy", we could not pick Barry. Chuck Chuck, Bo Buck, banana fanna fo… Nope, that name’s out too.

For us, any name that began with a hard "G", like Gary or Greg, weren’t even an option. Sarah hates alliterations in names. One must also check initials. With a last name that starts with "G", we wouldn’t dare name our son Frederick Allen.
Nothing we do will prevent all ridicule, but we can certainly make smart decisions. If you really, honestly think that Rumor or Satchel is a good name, then get a dog or an iguana.

I’m not against unique names, I promise. I am just of the mind that parents really should think things through, or even get a second opinion, before deciding to name their baby "Marijuana Pepsi Jackson". And if you think I’m making that name up, think again.

Sarah and I were finally able to narrow our list down to two names; Tyler James and no-way-am-I-telling-because-we’re-saving-it-for-our-next-son. We were both leaning towards Tyler, but not so far that we were able to make the decision official. We also weren’t sharing our ideas with family, so we had to figure it out on our own. So, we asked the dogs what they thought. Sarah held both of her hands out, empty.

"Logan, sit."

Logan sat.

"Logan do you like Tyler James," she said, shaking her left fist, "or do you like CENSORED?" this time shaking her right fist.

Logan put his nose on Sarah’s left fist. We did the same thing with Delilah. She took longer to think about it but also picked Tyler. It was all the answer I needed. Our unborn son had a name that only Sarah and I knew. While Sarah’s family referred to him as Franklin (I have no idea why) and my family called him Skippy, Sarah and I could share a knowing look and a wink.