The life and times of an irrational father. One man, multiple personalities.
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Sarah dropped the baby!!!

August 5th, 2008 | Posted by Joe in dropping baby | Sarah | sleep | Tyler - (3 Comments)
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I think this is one of the cutest pictures of Tyler, to date.
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Well, not really, but that certainly got your attention, didn’t it. I know I’m going to catch hell when she sees that I’ve blogged about it, though.

Here’s the scenario. I was sitting on the couch at the foot end, playing on my laptop. I’m sure I was likely checking out the latest headlines on Digg or catching up on celebrity gossip at WWTDD (yes, I’m a sucker for that stuff). More than likely, I was reading all the blogs I’ve got bookmarked. I’ve found that to be a much better way to spend my time than just blankly look at google’s homepage, wondering what topic to search for next.

Sarah was lying on the couch, across 2 of the 3 cushions. I was sitting on the last. Tyler was lying on Sarah’s chest. The two of them were napping sleeping. Seemingly out of nowhere, Tyler decides he wants to reposition himself. He kinda just shifted his head off to one side, but he’s got a big, heavy head. The weight of his head, and his lack of toned core muscles caused his entire body to roll off of Sarah’s chest.

I think Sarah reacted first, but it was only by a single micro-second. Sarah swung over and snatched him before he had any real chance of falling completely off. All I could muster was a complete body-jerk reaction and an involuntary spewing of a colorful phrase that would be a synonym to “HOLY CRAP!”

I said that phrase 2 or 3 more times afterward. Sarah’s eyes were about bugged out of her head. And our little Tyler, well he slept through the entire thing.

I knew, at that moment, what I would be blogging about today. I don’t think Sarah will end my life right away though. She was gone all last week, and has fallen behind on reading my blog. She probably won’t read this until next week, and will, hopefully have a sense of humor about it.

If this blog isn’t updated within the next 3 or 4 days, please call the authorities.

He’s asleep! Time for a nap!

July 10th, 2008 | Posted by Joe in fart | sleep | Tyler - (2 Comments)

Sarah and I have kinda fallen into a routine or schedule, mostly by coincidence, I think. It goes like this… During the day, if Sarah’s tired, and she has recently fed (read “just finished feeding”) Tyler… she can go upstairs and get a nap. I take care of Tyler the best I can. If he gives his “I’m hungry” cry (which we call the “Nursey Cry”), and it’s only been an hour, I tell him that he needs to wait. If it’s been 2 hours or longer, we go get Sarah for some foods. I don’t hand him off to Sarah if he’s crying. He has to calm down first. I stay up until around 2am or so, and stick to the same routine, so that Sarah can rest when she needs to.

Now, once I go to bed – anywhere between 1am and 3am – if Ty starts getting fussy, Sarah takes care of it. This is for, I would guess, 3 reasons:

  1. Sarah’s got the boobs and thus, has the milks
  2. He currently sleeps in our room with us. His crib is right next to Sarah, so she’s closer.
  3. Either I sleep through his cries, or Sarah has ninja reflexes and scoops Ty up before he can really turn up the volume.

I asked Sarah once, why she didn’t wake me up to help. If you remember, from a previous blog, she said “Because we didn’t need you.”

So, I get one solid run of sleep during the night, and am up for the day. I have been known to nap, but I try not to. Sarah sleeps when she can. It’s tough being the mom, but I wouldn’t trust anyone else with the job of being my baby mama.

Ty woke up about 45 minutes ago and started getting fussy. I held him and asked what his major malfunction was. He responded with a cry. I told him to use his words, and he responded with a cry.

He was kicking his legs around, and his face turned red. He looked like he was really, uhhh… thinking…. very hard. And then, his butt just exploded. I felt the force, through the diaper, on my hand. But he was still straining, so I told him to take care of whatever business he had to take care of, and that I was there to support him. He let 2 more RIP. Then he yawned, and looked at peace with the world.

I grabbed the diaper supplies and sat him down, all the while trying to mentally prepare myself for what lie between the diaper and his soft, pink skin.

Nothing. There was NOTHING! The only thing that could have made me prouder is if he had asked me to pull his finger.