The life and times of an irrational father. One man, multiple personalities.
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I went back and forth trying to title this post. The runner up was “Sharkbait OO HA HA”, but then I realized that both titles would fall on deaf ears if you’ve never seen “Finding Nemo” half a dozen times or so.

On the off chance that you haven’t seen nor heard of the movie – and, if you’re a parent and haven’t seen that movie, then shame on you – it’s about a fish. How’s that for giving away the entire storyline?

Tyler is taking swimming lessons at the YMCA. Sarah signed him up a few weeks ago. The classes are once a week for about 30 minutes, and go for 12 weeks (if I remember correctly). Tyler just turned 7 months old, so we don’t really expect him to understand us when we say “kick your feet! kick your feet!”, or try to get him to climb up the ledge of the pool (really, the instructor told Sarah to try to get him to climb up there, even though he can barely crawl). But, it’s a good activity for him, and you can’t go wrong introducing somebody to swimming and water.

I can’t swim. When I was young – I don’t know how old exactly, but I was young – and I was at the beach with my dad, he decided he was going to teach me to swim. He had his hands under my body while I tried getting accustomed to the water. I said, very specifically, “Don’t let go”, to which he responded that he wouldn’t. Mere seconds later, he removed his hands and I panicked. Because of that experience, I’ve had a very real fear of water since then. That’s not to say that I couldn’t take baths or get on a boat. I just couldn’t put my body into any water that didn’t allow my feet to touch the dirt while my head was still above water. Even in that shallow water, I couldn’t do anything other than stand straight up. If we were playing frisbee and it went left or right of me, I could NOT dive for it. I’ve come leaps and bounds in the last few years. I’ve actually gone tubing, water-skiing, and “swimming”, but only with the aid of a life jacket. And I’ve somehow managed to not loose my mind when I get thrown from the tube, or get a water enema from skiing.

So, I think it’s great that Tyler is getting exposed to water and swimming so early in life. When Summer rolls around, and we go to the lake with our friends, or to the local pool as a family, Tyler will be a year old and will hopefully take to the water much more easily than I did.

I’ve only been to one of Tyler’s classes. Sarah told me that in his first class, he didn’t appear to be comfortable in the water, but that he still did pretty well. From then on, though, he loved it. I went with them this previous Wednesday to check it out for Tyler’s third class. I had a feeling that cameras were probably not allowed in there, so I just brought it in without asking. Better to ask forgiveness, than permission, right?

I can not believe how much Tyler enjoyed being in the pool. He was splashing and kicking, and lunging his body all over the place. Sarah had difficulty time holding him a few times. I’m still learning how some of the settings on my camera work, so bear with me on some of these shots.

Tyler loves splashing his arms in the water.

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He was even pretty comfortable on his back. I really didn’t know what they were trying to accomplish, though. The instructor told them what to do, but I was completely focused on taking pictures. I’m pretty sure they were working on kicking their feet.

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They were definitely working on foot kicking here. Tyler did really well, but we knew he would, because he does that in the bathtub too.

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On his belly, Tyler did a great job of holding his head up while kicking and waving his arms. It’ll be awhile before we let go of him, but he’s definitely understanding the concept. Either that, or he just loves to splash the water. I’d like to say that it’s the former, but I’ve got a hunch that it’s the latter.

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Time to towel off and hit the showers. I can only guess how much chlorinated water Tyler swallowed over the last 25 minutes.

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Once we got home, Delilah gave Tyler some “good job” kisses after we told her how great Tyler did in the pool.

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August 1st, 2008 | Posted by Joe in learning | scared | teaching | Tyler - (3 Comments)
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Sarah and I were taking Tyler for a walk last week. We were walking down 7th Street, which is the main drag of our quaint little town. To our left, we could see the water tower.

Before I continue, sorry the ADHD is taking hold, I have to say this. They (they being an unknown entity) painted the water tower recently. I noticed that they put on a primer coat of gray paint. That seemed to take a couple weeks. I remember, one day, they had some type of cloth cover over the whole thing. Well, I was driving home a few days ago and, ALL OF A SUDDEN, I see that the entire thing had gotten it’s final coat. How the heck did they do that so quickly? There isn’t any lettering on the top of the tower yet, and I really don’t know if they will put anything there. I wouldn’t be surprised to see something up there that mentions the ACD Museum. Maybe “Auburn, it’s a Deusey! nyuk nyuk nyuk”

Anyway, we’re going for a walk and I look at the water tower. That’s when it dawned on me that I have to teach Tyler EVERYTHING I know. He’s going to ask me what the stars are, how door locks work, how to tie a knot, how to drive, how plants grow… everything. I got scared.

Tyler was awake at the time, so I started talking. I figured I better start now, because I’ve got a lot of stuff to go over with him over the next 80 years or so.

“Tyler, that’s a water tower. There’s about a million gallons of water in there. See, big pumps push the water up into the tower. Gravity tries pulling the water back down some other pipes in the tower. This creates water pressure. Those pipes go everywhere, including to our house. When we turn a faucet on, the force of gravity pushing on the water in the tower pushes it through all the pipes and out the faucet.”

Tyler didn’t seem to care. I may have to explain that to him again in a few years. I did get a reaction from Sarah though. She said, “Wow, I didn’t even know that”.

Of course, my ego shot up a hundred-fold, so I followed up with, “Yeah, that’s why we can still get water when the power goes out. There’s usually a full day’s worth up there.”

The problem is, there’s a lot… a LOT… that I don’t know. Tyler won’t ask me easy stuff, like “how do you tie a shoe?” or “where is the ground?”. He’s going to ask stuff I have no knowledge of. I don’t mind saying “I don’t know” a few times, but I’m scared that I may be saying it over and over again to some of his questions. I’m going to have to make a list of the things he asks me, get on google when he goes to bed, and get some answers for him for the next day.

I could always just take the easy way out and say “it’s magic” to all his questions. I think I could get away with that for a while, right?

“Dad, how do they get the people inside the TV?”

“It’s magic, son. Magic.”

“How do cars work, daddy?”

“That’s magic also, boy.”

“Where to babies come from?”

“From dark magic, Tyler. Voodoo stuff.”