The life and times of an irrational father. One man, multiple personalities.
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Fear… an addendum

November 30th, 2010 | Posted by Joe in family | irrational dad - (5 Comments)

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Remember this? Did you even read it a year ago?

Here’s a snippet from the end of that post:

The opportunity to move back has been offered a few times. More than a few, to be perfectly honest. Deep down, I wanted to move back – WE wanted to move back – yet I turned them all down. We made excuses to keep everything the same. Moving down here was easy, because it was just Sarah and I; two able-bodied adults that can care for themselves and be accountable for their actions. The baggage we will be bringing back has a heartbeat and is one hundred percent dependent on us to do the right thing.

I took the first of many huge steps yesterday. I told my boss that I was ready and that I would like to talk about my options. I just hope this decision isn’t one opportunity too late.

So, now, one very small gear in a very large clock has begun to turn, and quite frankly, I’m scared.

Eleven months ago, I told my manager that, while I love my job and all the freedoms it affords me, a move was in order. Since then, him and I have had many conversations about time-frames and opportunities. Soon, I would be hand-picked to assist with a project in New York. Soon, my brain would be rattled from all the information flowing into it. Soon, I would be working long hours, and long weeks, and be away from home for days at a time.

Soon, I would have five interviews for a yet to be created position back home. Soon, I would be offered the job.

Two weeks ago, I officially accepted.

I don’t know how to characterize what I’m feeling, mostly because it’s an emotional Smörgåsbord. Fear, anxiety, glee, worry. I know that I’m doing the right thing, both personally and professionally, but all those emotions are still there. I suppose that I should be more concerned if I didn’t feel those varying emotions.

So, Sarah and I spent many hours – and days – cleaning the house, painting, performing minor repairs, and trying to *keep* the house clean while a two year old monster terrorized the place. It’s now “on the market,” and our fingers are crossed that it sells before my March 1st start date. If not, I’ll have to commute to work, which may mean that I’ll only be home on weekends for a while. Oh, and have I mentioned that Baby Squiggles (the nickname we’ve chosen for the baby – of unknown gender – in Sarah’s 29 weeks pregnant belly) will be born on February 8th? Crazy times. If you know anyone that is looking for a very lovely home in a small town in Indiana, I’ve got exactly what you need.

But… this is all for the greater good. We remind ourselves of that fact every time we think about the worst-case scenario of Sarah being stuck at home with a 2 year old and a newly born infant for a few days at a time. I fear that it’ll be too much for her. I fear that Tyler won’t adjust well to the new baby and to my absence. I fear that Squiggles won’t know or grow attached to his very loving and dedicated daddy. But it’s all for the greater good…

Right?

Tyler tells a story

October 11th, 2010 | Posted by Joe in conversations | family | storytime | Tyler - (3 Comments)

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As Tyler played with his Buzz Lightyear toy, Sarah and I caught up with each other. I had been in New York for the last few days, and wanted to know how things had gone in my absence. The conversation was a difficult one, because Tyler liked to interject his thoughts every ten to fifteen seconds.

“Mommy, you Woody,” he said, placing the Woody character into her hands. “You go sleep now.”

“Well, will you tell me a story?”

She placed Woody onto a pillow. The conversation that her and I were trying to continue was put on hold for the time being. We both waited for the story that Buzz Lightyear, Space Ranger, would tell to Woody, the rootinest, tootinest cowboy in the Wild Wild West.

“Upon a time. A big bad wolf not eat you. The end.”

It’s my new favorite story.

Can. Not. Wait.

October 8th, 2010 | Posted by Joe in family - (0 Comments)

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I’ve been seven hundred miles from home for a few days. Later today, barring any airport troubles, I’ll be returning to my happy family.

And I can’t wait!

Favorite Parts

October 4th, 2010 | Posted by Joe in family | Tyler - (4 Comments)

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Sarah started a bedtime routine for us that I love taking part in. Before Tyler began developing a solid vocabulary and became capable of having a conversation, I would stay with him for a few minutes after he was in his bed.

After being away at work for the entire day, I wanted to have some extra time with Tyler before bidding him a good night. I would place my arm across his chest while sitting on the floor. I’d ask Tyler “what did you do today?” He’d respond with general nonsense and a few keywords here and there, like zoo, or playground. If I knew more details about the day he and his mommy had, I’d talk to him about it and ask if he remembered.

On one particular evening, a while back, Sarah stayed up in the room with Tyler and I. She listened as we talked, then added her own memories of the day. Before we left the room, she said to Tyler, “My favorite part was going for a walk with you and daddy and Lilah.”

Thus began our nightly routine. We don’t rehash the details of the day any longer, but we talk about our favorite parts of the day. Tyler never goes first. The thing I find most amazing and endearing is that Tyler sometimes has completely random favorite parts. A few nights ago, the same night he was horse-kicked by a cow, he gave us the following gem.

“Mommy, what you favrit port?”

“My favorite part was watching the horses and eating cotton candy with you and with daddy.”

“Daddy, what your favrit port?”

“My favorite part,” I began, “was petting all the horses and rabbits and sheep and piggies with you and mommy. What was your favorite part of the day today, Tyler?”

“My favrit port, I have two favrit ports.” Tyler held up two fingers. “My first favrit port was goin a fair. My two favrit port was goin home.”

Great favorite parts, Tyler. And great idea, Sarah.

Counting Dinosaurs

October 1st, 2010 | Posted by Joe in adorable | family | Tyler - (8 Comments)

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“What time is it?”

I get that question a lot. We don’t have a clock in our living room. Unless the television is on, which it isn’t when Tyler is still awake, there is just a single place to check the time. Mounted on a wall, roughly four feet off the floor, sits an EnergyStar electronic thermostat. On the thermostat is a one inch by three inch display, that shows the day, time, and room temperature. The display is so crisp and clear that it’s viewable from a staggering fifteen inches away. I crane my neck to see the display from the floor, where Tyler and I were playing a high stakes game of cat and mouse with a couple of his toys.

“Uhh… eight seventeen.”

For some peculiar, OCD reason, I am unable to give general time to people. At eight seventeen, I’d never say it was a quarter after eight. If someone asks me the time, I tell them exactly the time displayed. Is it just me, or is this common?

Sarah told Tyler (and me) that it was time to start cleaning up, and joined us on the floor to help. Little People, Legos, cars, and farm animals made their way into their respective bins.

“Okay, let’s put the dinosaurs away next,” Sarah offered.

“I count them,” asked Tyler?

We gathered all of Tyler’s miniature dinosaurs and placed them on the upturned lid of the bin we were working with. Tyler picked one up and placed it into the bin.

“One.”

I can’t speak for Sarah, but I was very interested in seeing how this was going to proceed. Tyler can count to ten, and beyond, but tends to skip the number four, going from three to five instead. We’ve been working with Tyler to count slower and more deliberately, placing extra emphasis on four and seven, which he also omits on occasion. Instead of counting to two, then three, before ending my suspense, Tyler decided to work smarter, not harder. He grasped the lid, upon which all the remaining dinosaurs rested, lifted it, and unceremoniously dumped them into the bin.

“All of them.”

Sarah and I both laughed heartily and said, in unison, “One. All of them.”