Sarah attended a bridal shower last Saturday. Shortly after she left the house, we traded a few text messages. I feel that only parents will be able to fully appreciate the first two messages.

(Joe) Two words: poop blowout.
(Sarah) Sick. Were there rocks in it?
(Joe) No… Just a bunch of poop. Reminded me of the elephant story you told me earlier.

Yeah… Parenthood is fun.

Note: The picture above is Tyler’s “I’m pooping” face. He’s going to hate me when he’s a teenager.

This past Friday, I was very tired, and was dealing with some severe neck pain. I don’t know how or why my neck started hurting, but it was doing so without regard for origin or reason. I lay down on the couch to take a nap, while Sarah and Tyler played on the floor. This was a mistake, because the way in which I was positioned caused even more neck pain when I woke up about an hour or so later.

When I did wake up, the following discussion took place:

Sarah: “How was your nap?”
Me: “mmmm, ok I guess.”
Sarah: “love yous.”
Me: “I love you, too.”
Sarah: “Tyler pooped.”
Me: “Yay.”
Tyler: *burp*

Apparently, when a baby’s bowel system takes a two day break from its normally scheduled programming, it becomes a hot topic for parents. I did not know this, and believe I must add it to the “The Incompetent Dad’s Handbook for Parenting Success” book that I’ll probably never write.

Update: After reading over this post again, I feel the need to point out that Tyler’s *burp* was not added for comedic effect. The conversation posted is 100% accurate.