The life and times of an irrational father. One man, multiple personalities.
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I’m trying to live in a world where I don’t view this as bad parenting… but…

Delilah has a bit of a quirk that Sarah and I have exploited, much to our my amusement. Whenever she is introduced to something she has never seen before, Delilah tends to be wary of it. What I do, at that point, is start chasing her around the house with said object. Here, just watch this video.

It appears that Tyler may have picked up on this little “game” of mine. And he seems to love it as much as I do.

Delilah and Tyler are loving each other more and more every day. He’s finally getting to the age where he can play, and Delilah couldn’t be happier with that.

Note: The first video was shot two months after we brought Delilah home with us. She was found next to a dumpster by a couple college girls and they couldn’t keep her at their apartment. We adopted her. She was severely underweight at the time, and was still quite underweight at the time of the video. She looks much healthier (pure freakin’ muscle) now, as you can see in the second video.

Family Resemblance

March 17th, 2009 | Posted by Joe in Bad parenting | delilah | photos | random | Tyler - (8 Comments)

I don’t need to add a full back-story to this photo. I’ll let you be the judge on whether there’s a relationship here or not. Should I be concerned?


Naming a baby is no simple task. The amount of "common" names number in the thousands. Add to that the stranger names that celebrities seem content with assigning to their babies – Apple, Jermajesty, Ocean, and Rocket are just a small handful of these non-mainstream monikers (yes, they are real names) – and the options spike even higher. As parents, this is a responsibility that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Sadly, I would have liked to say that it can’t be taken lightly, but based on some of the names that parents have chosen, that responsibility can indeed be taken lightly. Take, for example, the couple that wanted to auction the name of their baby on eBay to the highest bidder. The point is, for 99.9% of us, baby naming is a big deal.

One of the first questions that must be answered is whether you want to pass on a name from your family or your spouse’s family, or if you want to pick something new. Sarah wanted our son’s middle name to be "James", named after her father and grandfather. Her dad had all girls, so without a boy to carry on the family name, she thought this the next best thing. My argument against James was that it was already the middle name of one of my brothers and two of my nephews. Did we really need another James-as-a-middle-name in the family? Apparently so, because I decided that my reasons against it weren’t as great as her reasons for it.

No good parent would ever choose a name without first considering the minds of other children. Lest I wish my son’s name be appended with "the fairy", we could not pick Barry. Chuck Chuck, Bo Buck, banana fanna fo… Nope, that name’s out too.

For us, any name that began with a hard "G", like Gary or Greg, weren’t even an option. Sarah hates alliterations in names. One must also check initials. With a last name that starts with "G", we wouldn’t dare name our son Frederick Allen.
Nothing we do will prevent all ridicule, but we can certainly make smart decisions. If you really, honestly think that Rumor or Satchel is a good name, then get a dog or an iguana.

I’m not against unique names, I promise. I am just of the mind that parents really should think things through, or even get a second opinion, before deciding to name their baby "Marijuana Pepsi Jackson". And if you think I’m making that name up, think again.

Sarah and I were finally able to narrow our list down to two names; Tyler James and no-way-am-I-telling-because-we’re-saving-it-for-our-next-son. We were both leaning towards Tyler, but not so far that we were able to make the decision official. We also weren’t sharing our ideas with family, so we had to figure it out on our own. So, we asked the dogs what they thought. Sarah held both of her hands out, empty.

"Logan, sit."

Logan sat.

"Logan do you like Tyler James," she said, shaking her left fist, "or do you like CENSORED?" this time shaking her right fist.

Logan put his nose on Sarah’s left fist. We did the same thing with Delilah. She took longer to think about it but also picked Tyler. It was all the answer I needed. Our unborn son had a name that only Sarah and I knew. While Sarah’s family referred to him as Franklin (I have no idea why) and my family called him Skippy, Sarah and I could share a knowing look and a wink.

Charades

February 15th, 2009 | Posted by Joe in adventures in babydom | allergies | Bad parenting | delilah | games | sick Tyler | Tyler - (9 Comments)
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I’ve never played charades before. To get me to list and discuss the myriad reasons why this is the case, I’d need to be lying on a leather couch, talking to a guy whose name is suffixed with the letters PhD. Instead, I’ll simply say that it just isn’t my “thing”. I understand the basics of the game. A person will stand in front of everyone else and start acting like a fool, flapping their arms, hopping on one foot, and pointing at their nose. This is all done in pantomime, because the “actor” is not allowed to speak. The audience then shouts out what they think the phrase is. The actor grows increasingly frustrated that the audience can’t see that the answer is – OBVIOUSLY – Chuck Norris. Wash, rinse, repeat.

There are certain signals that the actor can make to help the audience along. If he touches his nose and points at someone, that person correctly guessed the word that the actor was working on. Tugging on your ear means “sounds like”. So, if he were to pull his ear and jump in the air, the audience would start shouting “dump”, and “bump”, and “hump”. I only know this because I’m pretty sure I saw an episode of The Cosby Show, or Full House when I was younger where the family played charades.

Here in the Gearhart household, we’ve been playing charades for the past three or four days. We made the mistake of having Tyler start the game as the actor. He’s only 7 months old, so we didn’t set high expectations for him. But he was horrible at it. Maybe we didn’t explain the game to him well enough (or at all), but Sarah and I have been yelling out our guesses over and over again, and Tyler hasn’t once touched his nose and pointed at us. Needless to say, we’re still in the first round of the game.

First, Tyler would grab and tug on his ear. “Sounds like”, I thought. No problem. Then Tyler would yell and scream. Sarah and I thought of every rhyming word we could think of. Steam, team, cream, deem, slipstream. Nothing. Bell, cell, tell, oyster shell. Zilch. After a few days of guessing, we decided that either he sucks at charades, or we suck at parenting, so we took him to our family doctor. I had to work, so Sarah took him in.

The diagnosis: Sounds like Bubble Smear Chinflection.

Tyler is now taking Baby Motrin for pain (berry flavored), and amoxicillin for the infection.

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Double ear infection. *sigh*

To top it all off, we just (last week) took Delilah to the vet to get her ears flushed. She’s had ear problems and allergies since the day we got her. We have to put medicine in her ears everyday and give her an antibiotic pill with her food.

DOUBLE double ear infection. *double sigh*

I Got a New Toy

January 18th, 2009 | Posted by Joe in delilah | gadgets | photos | Tyler - (6 Comments)

A Canon Digital Rebel XS camera, to be exact… Three pictures per second is both a blessing and a curse. I’m pretty much guaranteed to get the perfect shot now, but it’s usually bracketed with 5 or 6 other pictures that I have to delete. For example, I took 99 pictures of Tyler’s bathtime today, and ended up with 33 keepers.

It’s a small price to pay to end up with pictures like these though:

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