You will need to read this post, first, to understand the context/scene in which this story takes place.
Her house was a mess Sunday morning. Everyone woke up slowly after a night of drinking, and we were all presently piled in the living room, on the couches and floor, laying under blankets and staring blankly at the television playing Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. I felt pretty good because, although tired, I was the only of the adults that would have passed a breathalyzer the night before. Tyler and Weckie, his three year old cousin, began the movie by snuggling and paying rapt attention. At any given moment during the ninety minute film, at least one adult was paying a visit to Dreamy Town, USA.
However, the kids grew bored and began playing with toys. At some particular point, Darren went into the kitchen for either food or drink. At that same particular moment, a thought tickled at my conscious. The kids have been rather quiet lately. It’s been my experience that a quiet toddler is a dangerous toddler. I focused my attention to trying to listen for the kids. Faintly, I heard the sound of one material pounding against another. Darren’s voice rang out.
“No, Tyler! Don’t do THAT!”
I knew it, I thought. I just knew that a quiet toddler can not be trusted. I tossed the blanket from my legs. I glanced over at Sarah while pushing myself off the floor. Her body was spooning against Delilah. She was either unconscious, or dead. I made a mental to-do note to check on Sarah’s state of being after figuring out just what the heck was happening in the other room to freak the otherwise laid-back Darren out.
Walking into the room, Tyler and Weckie were both standing on the air mattress that Sarah and I slept on just a few hours earlier. Tyler had a plastic toy in his hand. Okay, now I know what he was using as a makeshift hammer, but I didn’t know what he was hammering against yet.
“Everything okay,” I asked, “what’s going on?”
Tyler, very excitedly, answered before Darren could fill me in. “I HIT A BEE!”
“What?”
Darren explained. As he walked into the kitchen, he looked into the room the kids were in and saw Tyler pounding the plastic toy against the window. He then looked at the window to see a frigging YELLOW JACKET WASP buzzing around, presumably trying to get the hell away from the psychopathic child that was heroically trying to slay him and protect his dear cousin. Weckie had been jumping around and flapping her arms, either in fear or encouragement.
Tyler, on cloud nine, shrieked out, “Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz,” and started laughing wildly. He recounted multiple, multiple, times his bravery by saying “I hit a bee! Bang bang bang. I hit a bee!”
Darren killed it.





2011-01-31 - Darn It
2010-12-13 - Tyler Plays Angry Birds
2010-12-05 - Tyler Slides Down the Stairs
2010-11-26 - What you said
2011-01-10 - Tyler Watches Two Minion Videos
2011-01-07 - Tyler Does Somersaults
2010-12-20 - Tyler is Iron Man
2011-01-27 - Tyler Sings
2011-01-06 - Tyler Mimics the Minions
2010-12-05 - Happy Birthday, Grandpa