The life and times of an irrational father. One man, multiple personalities.
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Come on, Tyler! Daddy’s hungover!

April 24th, 2010 | Posted by Joe

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Tyler can open doors. Tyler’s aunts and uncles think this is great. Tyler’s grandparents think this is a testament to his intelligence. Tyler’s parents are terrified. We try to always keep our exterior doors locked, but that doesn’t mean we always remember to do so. I attribute it to the fact that, even though we live in a great town, I grew up in a town where you damn well better lock your doors. But, what about those rare occasions that we forget to lock our doors? Doesn’t Murphy’s Law require that to be the day that Tyler walks out of the house while I’m in the shower? This is why people have grey hair.

This past Sunday morning, my sleep was disturbed by the sound of Tyler’s door being SLAMMED shut. I glanced at the green glowing numbers on the alarm clock. It was early, but not too early to be awake. Unfortunately for me, I enjoyed a strong gin and tonic just six hours ago. Unfortunatelyer for me, I went to bed just five hours ago. Unfortunatelyest for me, I couldn’t roll over and plead with Sarah to get up with Tyler because she was out of town.

So, I did what any parent whom had a strong drink (or two) the night before and was currently operating on five hours of sleep would do. I closed my eyes and hoped that the situation would resolve itself. Then, rattle rattle rattle SLAM, followed by the thump thump thumping of a toddler’s feet across his floor and to his bed. Shocked and confounded by my good luck, I instantly let myself fall into a doze. I knew it wouldn’t last long and resolved myself t- SLAM!

I closed my eyes tighter. I knew that there was no longer any chance of Tyler being a good little boy and going back to bed so that his ever-so-slightly hungover, and extremely tired daddy could continue his sweet, sweet slumber. But that sure as hell didn’t stop me from hoping. As I lay there, I heard Tyler’s incredibly sweet and innocent voice coming from directly next to me.

“Hi daddy.”

Headache and exhaustion be damned, I opened my eyes and smiled at Tyler. “Hi, bug. Do you wanna snuggle with daddy for a minute?”

“Yeah,” Tyler replied as he tried climbing into the bed.

I pulled him up and put my arm around him. Fifteen minutes later, Tyler climbed down from the bed. I asked where he was going.

“Nigh night. New bed.”

“New bed” is what Tyler has been calling his bed since we converted it from crib to bed. It’s adorable.

“Okay, buddy. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Tyler answered, “okay buh-dee.”

My little angel of a son gave me another thirty minutes of sleep before waking up for good.

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