“I fully believe that he is destined for great things.” – Dr. Michelle, about Tyler.

Sarah had an appointment with her lady-doctor last week. It had something to do with lady things. I don’t know what it was because I promptly jammed my fingers into my ears and shouted “Lalalalalalala, I can’t hear you,” when Sarah told me about the appointment. It has something to do with an annual checkup. I don’t know, because women and their “business” confuses me. Unbeknownst to me, I ended up having a short work day on the day of the appointment. When I called, Sarah said that her and Tyler were having a picnic lunch outside the doctor’s office before heading in. Since I was only a couple miles away, I decided to come by and surprise them.

And that is how it came to be that I went to the appointment with Sarah.

Her doctor also happens to be our nurse midwife. She was with us during our 50+ hours of labor. She guarded the door from the nurses so that Sarah and I could get some rest during the marathon of labor that Tyler put us through. She really was our advocate during the whole process. And she would have murdered Sarah if Tyler wasn’t with her at the appointment on this day. That ruled out me taking Tyler home, so my being there to occupy Tyler during the appointment was the most practical option.

Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way…

In my eyes, Tyler’s birth was a scary, tiring, and draining experience. I say “scary” only because I’ve never been a dad before. I’m sure all (or most) men can relate. All said,it was a fairly positive experience that left us with a large, healthy, beautiful baby boy. When Sarah and I share our story with others, we discuss the hell we felt like we were going through, but keep it light-hearted, because of the end result. Sure, things didn’t go as planned. Yes, it all ended with a cesarean birth. But, it all ended with a birth. I’m well aware of all the elements in play that led to the birth. Tyler never “dropped” to start labor. He was, for a very short period, in distress. We induced. Tyler never got into a birthing position. We practiced our relaxation techniques. They upped the meds to keep labor going. Sarah’s body began giving up. Tyler was in distress for another short period. Sarah went in for a c-section. It’s a boy. The end.

Right?

While at the appointment with Sarah, we eventually began talking about Tyler’s birth. It turns out that things were a little more serious than all that. We know that we exhausted all other options before agreeing to the c-section. There was a period during the labor that I physically pushed, at the advice of our midwife, on Sarah’s belly from the side, to help get Tyler in a better birthing position. So, we left with a clear conscience that we made the right (and quite emotional) decision in abandoning our hopes for a natural birth.

Dr. Michelle told us that, if things would have progressed any differently, and we had a natural birth, things likely would have been dire. She told us that she would have had mere milliseconds… because the cord was wrapped around his neck three times. That “dot dot dot” above, between “milliseconds” and “because”, that was the pause that contained a million unspoken words, thoughts, and emotions.

I felt the lump expand in my throat in that short pause. Although we felt that everything was going wrong and against us, we had no idea how lucky we were, and are. We knew the cord was wrapped three times because the surgeon said so as he pulled Tyler out of Sarah’s midsection. We just never really gave it much thought, especially considering what was taking place. We were four seconds away from meeting our son!

“That’s why I fully believe he is destined for great things. There’s something very special about him,” she said.

It’s impossible for me to express the emotions that swirled. I squeezed Tyler in my arms, thinking how differently things could have ended up. I’ve got a little tyrant of a son, who eats sand, smears food on his face, and deliberately farts when we take his diaper off (yes, he really does).

And I would be an empty shell of a man if I didn’t have him. Fatherhood is the single, greatest achievement I never knew I wanted.

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