Red rover, red rover, let Tyler roll on over

To date, Tyler has rolled over 4 times. I, of course, am the typical “proud daddy”. Look what my boy can do. Isn’t he advanced for his age? He’s just progressing so quickly. I know, I make myself sick, too.

Sarah, on the other hand, does not share my happiness. She keeps saying that he’s too young and blah blah. Deep down, I feel the same. I feel like I’m going to come home from work tomorrow, and he’s going to open the door and be standing on the porch to greet me. Of all the fears that a parent has, how can I even have time to have that fear?

Speaking of work, I’m back at it this week. On one hand, it’s nice to be out of the house. The 2 weeks that I was at home, I rarely left the house. So, it’s nice to be out… BUT… It’s very hard to leave in the mornings. I miss my son and my wife tremendously. If anyone here wants to sponsor my retirement, please send me an email.

The last 2 days have been especially busy for me. Let me back up a second….

I have a 2002 Alero. It looks a lot like a Pontiac Grand Prix, for those of you not up on your Oldsmobile models. I’m here to tell you that the Olds Alero was not made for car seats. Sure, it has the latches, and the base fits in just fine. Putting the actual seat (with baby) in, is a chore. You can’t just crouch in there and put it in. The short, low profile of the car hinders any such maneuverability. Instead, you have to reach in but your head is still outside the car, and you’re looking across the roof. You set the carseat on the base, facing you. Then, you can crouch your head in to look at the mess. Once you get your head and upper body in the car, you have to lift the carseat up, again, and rotate it 90 degrees so he’s facing the rear…. THEN you can lock it in place. Getting the carseat back out…. not any easier.

Needless to say, Tyler doesn’t exactly sleep through this ordeal.

Sarah has a 2002 Chevy Blazer. There is PLENTY of room for the carseat, and it’d be so much easier getting it in, for obvious reasons that I won’t delve into. Problem is, her Blazer hasn’t ran in about a year.

When we moved down here, I got a company vehicle, and Sarah started driving my car because it gets better gas mileage. When winter rolled around, I tried to start her truck, it wouldn’t start. After a lot of troubleshooting and research, I changed the fuel pump ($300ish). The truck started and ran…. for about a week, then it went back to it’s previous state of not starting. I was defeated and it just wasn’t a priority. She had my car, I had my company car, and I had a motorcycle… the Blazer didn’t HAVE to run right now.

The arrival of Tyler has made us rethink some of our priorities. I vowed to get Sarah’s Blazer running this week. All roads were leading to it having a faulty ignition switch.

Which brings me back to the last two days being especially busy. I tore the steering column apart on her blazer and swapped the ignition switch and wiring harness out for a good one… NOTHING!!! After some more talking with a guy at AutoZone, he said the engine was flooded. I got home and just kept cranking on the engine. Finally, it started!!!! So, yesterday, I ended up being away from Sarah and Tyler for about 13 hours.

Today, after work, I needed to put the Blazer back together. Well… the ratcheting switch mechanism for the hazard lights was damaged. So, no hazards and no turn signals. This part is a dealer only part, so I had to run up to the Chevy dealer and spend $18 for a new one. I was pleasantly surprised, because I expected them to charge me about $50, because that’s what dealers do, right?

So, I got it all back together and decided to change the spark plugs, for good measure, as the old ones (although only 6 months old) were black from the engine flooding and no spark being delivered as a result of the faulty ignition switch. Can you tell how fun this project has been?

After the plugs were changed, I fired her up again… SHE’S ALIVE!!! I took it for a test drive, and she’s running as if she were brand new still. I’m very happy… BUT…. this made a second day of me being away from Sarah and Tyler for another 13 hours.

Here’s to hoping that today will be better…

Where’s my club card?

I confess. I like LOVE being a father. Sarah and I, throughout our 5 years together have talked about the possibility of having kids. For awhile, I didn’t want kids, for awhile, I did. Then, one day, it occurred to me that I really didn’t care if I ever had kids or not. I just didn’t care.

Last year, Sarah caught the baby-bug. I’m not sure from who, although I suspect it was her sister, Jillian, that did it. She had just had a baby daughter, and was likely still contagious. Sarah went and visited her at the hospital, and caught the bug. I’m thinking of a career in forensics. My detective skills astound me.

So, she started the baby talk with me. I had the mindset of, “sure, whatever”. Once we finally decided to “start trying”, though, I found myself a little excited. I told Sarah that she had BETTER NOT be one of those women who have a stopwatch going and, as soon as the alarm goes off, order me into the bedroom, because “it’s time”. She said “no problem” and that she’d “never do that.”

Sarah is a liar. I think it’s a side-effect of the baby-bug, but I have been unable to find documented proof of my suspicion.

She was still in school at the time, so we were living separate. She was home on weekends. Well, after we made our decision, she would come home on a Tuesday night, because it was time. Then she’d come home Wednesday night, because Thursday morning would be time again. Then, Friday night, it was time for bed, because it was time. Sunday morning, when I’m trying to sleep in??? It was time. When a woman’s biological clock starts ticking… it doesn’t tick like a normal clock. I was on a locomotive speed train. Next stop, baby town.

I’ve really jumped off topic. When Sarah had the positive pregnancy test, I found myself getting more and more excited every day. The first time I felt the baby move… it’s an otherworldly experience.

Today, I found myself very sad, but I couldn’t pinpoint it. A few hours ago, the lightbulb above my head lit up. I’m going back to work. I have been home for 2 weeks, and they have been, without a doubt, 2 of the best weeks of my life. Tyler doesn’t do much beyond eating, pooping, and sleeping, but I find myself staring at him all the time. Sarah and I have created a human life. It’s the greatest miracle of the world.

But, now I’m coming face-t0-face with the fact that I have to be away from my son for 10 hours a day. Even now, I cannot fathom such a thing. If anyone here has the resources to sponsor my retirement, let me know. I’m very interested in the offer.

12 months ago, I couldn’t have cared less if I never had a child. Today, I cannot imagine anyone not wanting to become a parent. I now believe all of my friends (with children), who said that it is the “greatest, most rewarding thing you’ll ever do”. It’s only been 2 weeks, and I know that they are absolutely correct.

So, I’m eagerly awaiting my club card to the “Proud Fathers Club”.

And for my next trick…

Hey there, you cute couple. You look like you’ve really got it together. 2 cars, a house, a happy marriage, date night, blah blah blah. Oh guess what? You’re pregnant now. But you’ve still got it all together. You’ve still got date night, you’re still happy. Now you’ve got projects! Build a crib, paint a room, put plastic things in all your plugs. Oh, and you get to go to classes to prepare you for labor. Oh, labor’s here. This will be a piece of cake too, because you’re prepared. Breathe, relax, breathe, relax. Well… it wasn’t quite what you expected, but the 2 of you did great. Good…

Because all hell is about to break loose.

Tyler is definitely not a “one trick pony”. He is a master of many things. Thankfully, he’s easing us into all the different things he could do. On day one, he just layed there, being a baby for us to admire. On day two, he learned to cry. Very nice. Then, he learned to pee on daddy. Then, he learned to poop on mommy. Then he learned to let loose some very loud farts.

Today…. he showed us that he can spit up. Spit up… what a stupid term. It doesn’t even begin to define what the boy can do. Tyler, it seems, can double as a super soaker gun, if you don’t mind milk and stomach acid as the fluid inside the weapon. He seemed to be so happy with his newly discovered skill, that he wanted to make sure to show us a few different times today.

He gave us a double whammy today, though. Let me say, firstly, that Tyler was “trying” to lift his head not 24 hours after being born. Anyway, I was reading online today. I think I was at babycenter, and the article was talking about milestones and some other crap that I didn’t care about at the time. Well, it said that we need to make sure that Ty gets “tummy time” when he’s awake, so that he can learn to (better) lift his head, and eventually get on all 4’s and start rocking, then start crawling, then start walking, driving, dating, graduating college. The article didn’t say ALL that, but my mind wanders sometimes.

So… I put Tyler on his tummy. He liked it. He seemed to like it a lot. About 5 minutes later, Sarah gasps. I looked over at Ty, and the little man had rolled onto his side and over onto his back.

Slow down!! He shouldn’t be doing this so early, should he? Well, maybe it was a fluke. I flipped him back onto his belly, and I’ll be darned if the boy didn’t do it again. He grunted, and struggled, and even cried for a minute, but he got himself rolled over. He can lift his head up too. And, he is pretty good at balancing his head when I hold him in a sitting up position.

As a final topic/note… Sarah claims to have Spiderman’s “Spider Sense”. Earlier today, Sarah said that Tyler would be waking up very shortly because her boobs were tingling. Later on, she said that Tyler needed to eat, because her boobs were tingling. She was right in both instances. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always suspected that womens’ breasts had certain magical properties, but I never knew the extent of said power.

She never mentioned Spiderman, but I’m a nerd and it was the first thought that came to my mind. I swear to God, I will be so upset if she ends up being a super-hero, and I am the normal “romantic interest”, the only person that knows the true identity of BoobGirl.