Missing things…

I am so unbelievably sad today.

On Saturday, Sarah went to a Dave Matthews Band concert with a friend of hers. I was left home to babysit Tyler, ON MY OWN. It wasn’t a great deal or anything. I gave him bottles when he needed them. I let him nap when he needed to. I played with him when he was awake. Oh, and I changed his dipes about every 20 minutes, it seemed. All in all, we had fun.

On Sunday, Sarah packed up a bunch of stuff. She is going to be spending the entire week with her Aunt and her 3 sisters. It’s a yearly “girls” week. They read, play cards, play in the pool, and hang out. This year marks the first year that a male has breached the sanctity of the women. Tyler went with Sarah.

Sarah goes every year. And I miss her for the entire week. I knew that I would miss her and Tyler this week, but I had no idea how much I would miss them.

She left yesterday afternoon. I didn’t do much. I watched about 10 episodes of the first season of Heroes. I never watched it when it was on TV. I have had the first season on my computer for awhile, and I had already watched the first 18 of 25 episodes. But that was a long time back, so I started over. I went to bed around 11p or midnight, I’m not sure. Heck, it could have been even later than that.

It was the best sleep I’ve gotten in 4 weeks. I sleep through the night when Sarah and Tyler are home, but I can’t call it a restful sleep. I wake up tired, even though I slept for 6 or 7 hours. I can’t complain, because I know Sarah’s got it worse. The point is, even though I sleep, I’m not getting restful sleep.

Last night was different. It wasn’t the quiet that let me sleep as well as I did. It was the knowledge that I didn’t need to be “on alert” for anything. I slept HARD. I felt so refreshed this morning. Ahhh…. it was nice.

I finished season 1 of Heroes and will probably start season 2 tomorrow or Wednesday. Sarah was having a good time and Tyler was being good. I was happy for them…

At 10:24p, I called Sarah. I wanted to tell her that I would be going to bed soon, and to kiss Tyler for me, and to have fun playing cards tonight. She said she would, of course. Then I asked how her day was. She said that Tyler was a prince and loved the attention he was getting.

Then she said that he loved the pool and that she took lots of pictures. I almost cried. My son, for the first time in his life, was in a pool… and I missed it. It’s not fair for me to have selfish thoughts about that, but I did. In that moment, I missed those 2 more than I ever thought possible. She’s only been there for just over 24 hours and has 5 or 6 days more before she comes home. How the heck am I going to manage?

I already don’t see him as much as I want to, because I’m back at work. Now, he’s gone for a week, and I am going to miss so many things. It just makes me sad. Even as I read back over this post, I can’t find any areas to throw any funny comments in to make it even just a little funny.

Well, here… this is a little funny. Actually, it’s quite funny. Sarah swears to me that this is not a posed photo, and that Tyler actually appears to be throwing a gang sign, completely on his own.

But, all is not funny here. There’s actually something very sad about this photo. Notice his University of Michigan cap? I am so looking forward to dressing him up in his UofM gear when football season starts… but his head is just too friggin big…. this photo is the first, and probably the last, time that he gets to wear the cap.

I’m going to bed… I’m to sad to read the internet tonight.

2 thoughts on “Missing things…”

  1. Feel your pain, man. That part doesn’t get any easier, either. It will pass.

    Dressing your kid up in your college gear is one of the best bonuses of having a kid. Though Georgia Bulldogs’ paraphenelia looks much better on kids than Wolverines stuff…

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